Ep 23. Shift the Lens, Change the Game: A Mind Hack to Take Back Control

Episode show notes

Imagine that you had a power that could shift your mindset, your thoughts, and your energy to more positive and empowering ones, in a matter of minutes.

Would this give you a sense of being in control? 

And make you bounce back from challenges quicker?

I believe it would. 

The good news is that this power is accessible to you, and it’s a technique called reframing. 

This morning I was out walking in the woods, as I usually do. 

First I was a bit bitter and tired and not in a great mood because I have gotten way too little sleep lately due to being sick myself and also having sick kids. 

Then I realized something. 

I have a choice here! 

The choice to dig an even deeper hole or to see this situation as an opportunity to learn something or make a change of some kind. 

I coached myself in this very moment, and you can do the same!

This is reframing in action. 

In this episode, we will look into this powerful tool and I will also teach you how to do it yourself. 

I’m pretty sure you will find it very handy both at work and in your personal life. 

Hi ladies, 

Life will throw you curveballs all the time, and you can’t possibly stop that from happening, even if you would love to. 

But you can change the way you think and talk about them. 

Like the quote says,

“when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Something that I have learned through both coaching and therapy is the effective strategy of reframing, so I thought I’d teach you that today. 

Imagine you're looking at a painting in a really ugly, broken frame. Maybe the artwork isn’t that bad, but the frame makes it look pretty awful. 

Now, replace that frame with a sleek, modern, silver one. 

The artwork remains the same, but its appearance and the feelings it evokes in you change entirely. 

That's the power of reframing.

Reframing is essentially changing the way you perceive an event or idea to create a different, often more positive, meaning or perspective. 

This shift in perspective usually supports you to get more resourceful. 

So now you see why this is an effective tool! And that you can use for self-coaching too.

So let’s look at some real-life examples. 

Starting with my own “sleeping too little due to kids-challenge.” 

So this morning, as I was walking there in the woods, at first I had a bit of a pity party with myself. 

I’m so tired, I can’t think properly, I won’t get so much done today, yada yada. 

I’m sure you can relate to this. 

I have two small kids and they wake me up more nights than not, which results in too little sleep. And even more when we have all been sick. 

And I KNOW the importance of sleep, and what I can do to improve it, and still it can be tricky to get enough. 

Because there are things I can control, and things I can’t. 

Some of the things I can control are the way I think about it and the actions I take to improve it. 

What’s a not-so-productive thought or action? 

Feeling sorry for myself, blaming the world, blaming myself, blaming the virus, digging a deeper hole. 

What’s another frame? 

• Not sleeping perfectly every night is a natural part of life

• I am human

• My kids are human

• Everyone sleeps badly at times

• I can do stuff even if I’m a bit tired

• I am enough

• This is an opportunity for me to practice what I preach! 

Some things I can do and control, which I also teach my clients; 

• Be kind to myself and prioritize more meditation and rest

• Go to bed earlier

• Take a power nap

• Lower the expectations of myself

• Think about how I want to show up, regardless of enough sleep or not

• Work on teaching my kids to fall asleep by themselves 

Let’s look at more work-related stuff; 

Say you've just led a project at work, and it didn't go as planned. The immediate thought? 

”I failed” 

or 

“I’m so bad at this” 

But let's reframe. 

What if you thought,

“I've discovered ways that don't work, and I've learned so much for the next time”

Suddenly, the scenario changes from one of ”I suck and I will get fired soon” to more growth-related. 

I’m sure your emotions and your energy will shift pretty quickly. 

Something I loved at Spotify back in the day, was that we celebrated failures with cake, the so-called “Fuck up cake”. 

Imagine how that creates psychological safety, to celebrate the fact that we tried and learned something, even if it didn’t go as planned. 

Another example that has happened both to me and to several of my clients is a buyout from an employer, due to re-organizations. 

And this is way more common than you think, so if this has happened to you, you are not alone.

But in a situation like this, some initial thoughts that could cross the mind are the ones of;

“I’m not good enough”

“They don’t want me”

“I will never get another job”

But a reframe in this situation could be, 

“Wow, this is the opportunity I have been waiting for, to change direction in my life.”

Or:

“Finally I can explore this other dream that I have, that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.”

This is what I see happening both within myself and my clients, a situation like this can lead to massive growth and opportunity.

By reframing, you not only reduce stress and anxiety but also empower yourself to take actionable steps. 

It's the shift from 

“I can't”

to 

“How can I?

Reframing isn't about denying reality but about finding the courage, empowerment, and resilience within that reality. 

Like not changing facts, but looking at them through a different lens.

So now, think of a situation where you feel challenged or out of control. 

And if you want to you can bring out pen and paper. 

Start by asking yourself; 

• What happened, factually? (Not with your emotional interpretation)

• Is there another perspective I can adopt about this situation right now? 

• In what way, could this situation be positive or a resource for me? 

• What’s the most meaningful action I can take right now? 

• What are the most empowering thoughts I can think of right now? 

I wish you the best of luck with this work, and I would love to hear how you get on! 

For me, I have some new actions to take on now, and this situation gave me a topic for a full podcast episode :)

And if you want to dig deeper into mindset and thoughts I highly recommend going back to the earlier episodes, for example, nr 1 and 20 on self-critical thoughts and nr 2 and 15 on mindset.

Working with thoughts & mindset is a big part of the work I do with my VIP clients, and it makes a big difference, both in their careers and their personal lives. 

Get in touch through LinkedIn or email and I will tell you all about it. 

Take care of yourself and go be a badass!