Ep 11. The Secrets to Building Successful Habits That Lasts

Episode Show Notes

How many times have you decided to start a new habit with excitement and motivation, just to slowly see it fade away a few weeks later? 

I’ve surely done that and I bet you have too. 

The problem is not that you are not driven enough or can’t make it work, it’s usually how you go about the habit formation. 

Now it’s August and time to set the stage for the second part of this year. 

Many of us are back in business after summer vacation and schools are starting again. I love the feeling of having a fresh start that August brings, it’s almost like New Year's. 

It’s actually the perfect time to also start a new habit to nail those ambitious goals that you have! 

That's why I want to dedicate this episode to one of the most crucial aspects of personal growth AND well-being - creating habits that last. Some of the tips and tricks might be unexpected to you. 

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Hi ladies, 

What comes to mind when you think of the word habits? 

Fun and inspiring or boring and un-motivating? 

The more I nerd out on wellbeing, psychology, performance, brain science, and personal development, the more possibilities and potential I see in the word. 

Habits as a Way of Defining Yourself

And I’ve also realized that habits have less to do with goal-setting, and more to do with who you want to be in this world. 

When you connect habits with the person you want to become, it automatically adds intrinsic motivation and meaning to the things you want to do. This is applicable both in your career, as well as in the rest of your life.

There are so many books out there on habit formation but I’ve put together a list inspired by the bestselling book Atomic Habits by James Clear, which is excellent.

Before I go into some ways of building habits, it’s good to understand how habits work. 

How Habits Work

A habit is a behavior that you have done so many times that it becomes automatic.

The process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps which create a loop; 

The first is the "cue," which triggers a habit. 

Then there's the "craving," a motivational force that makes you take action. These can be belonging, safety, love, comfort, relief, achievement etc.

Next, the "response" is the action you take in response to the cue and craving.

Finally, the "reward" is the positive outcome you get from completing the habit.

Here’s an example of what you could call, a bad habit or at least a not-so-productive one; 

Cue: You hit a block on a project at work. 

Craving: You feel stuck and want to relieve your frustration. 

Response: You pull out your phone and check Instagram. 

Reward: You satisfy the craving to feel relieved. And then checking social media becomes associated with feeling stalled at work. 

This is definitely one of my bad habits, that I want to break. 

Here’s an example of a good habit; 

Cue: You hit a block on a project. 

Craving: You feel stuck and want to relieve your frustration, and to get unblocked.

Response: You go out for a walk.

Reward: You can think better thanks to the fresh air, movement, and your creative juices starts to flow.

So as you can see, both good and bad habits are triggered by cues and then reinforced until they become automatic. 

8 Principles To Build Good Habits

1. Think about who you want to be. 

To give some examples: 

Instead of saying; I have to start meditating. 

You can ask yourself; 

Who do I want to be? 

Maybe you then realize that you want to be a strong leader and a present and calm mum, then meditation is definitely for you and you need to create a habit around that. 

Or you want to be a confident and inspiring speaker and workshop facilitator, then 

habits supporting that will obviously be practicing speaking in front of people, getting feedback, maybe recording yourself etc. 

So you can see that the actions or habits that you do, cast a vote for the person you want to become. 

To think in this way is so much more effective and personal, and I often ask this question to my clients.

Because the women that work with me usually want to make changes, but changes can be hard, and that’s why it’s so important to find the motivation to do so. 

2. Identify Keystone Habits

Keystone habits are those powerful activities that, when practiced consistently, create a ripple effect on other areas of your life.

For instance, regular exercise not only improves your physical health but also enhances your focus, productivity, and emotional well-being. Sleeping better will improve your performance and happiness. 

Take a moment to think about the keystone habits that align with your long-term goals and values. Remember, these habits will become the foundation for your overall growth and success.

If you want to hear an example you can go back to Episode 9 (Improve Your Sleep To Boost Mental & Physical Capacity) and how changing a few habits drastically helped one of my clients with her stress, anxiety, and sleep, which made her performance and leadership improve as a result. 

3. Start Small and Be Specific

As high-achievers, you often set ambitious targets. While aiming high is awesome, it's so important to start small and be specific when forming new habits.

Instead of saying, "I'll exercise more," break it down into a specific action like, "I'll walk for 15 minutes every morning after breakfast." 

Starting small builds momentum and reduces resistance. As James Clear says, "Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong."

4. Create an Environment that Supports Your Habits

Our environment plays a significant role in shaping our behavior. To ensure your habits thrive, design an environment that supports them. 

If you want to read more, keep a book by your bedside table. If you wish to eat healthier, stock your kitchen with nutritious foods. 

By making your desired habits easily available, you're more likely to follow through.

The best environment that I have found to stick to habits is by working with a coach, as they keep me accountable and remind me of who I want to be. 

5. Stack Habits for Success

Habit stacking is an excellent way to link new habits to existing ones. Identify a current habit and stack the new one on top of it. For example, if you want to meditate daily, you could stack it after brushing your teeth. 

This way, the existing habit serves as a reminder and makes it easier to incorporate the new one seamlessly.

6. Track Your Progress

As data-driven leaders, tracking progress is second nature to you. Apply the same principle to your personal growth. Keep a habit tracker or journal to monitor your daily actions. 

Seeing your progress visually can be incredibly motivating and reinforces your commitment to sticking with the habits.

7. Celebrate your achievements and streaks

Celebrate your habit streaks! As you continue your habits day after day, the streak becomes a powerful motivator to keep going. 

Even if you can’t do the whole thing you had planned, make the scope smaller to stay consistent. This will boost your confidence and reinforce the identity of the person you aspire to be.

8. Be Kind to Yourself - Embrace Imperfection

Be kind to yourself in the process, you are human and you are doing great. We all fall off the horse and need to hop up again. 

I know that you are self-critical and sometimes beat yourself up, but practice self-compassion and remember that every day is an opportunity to start over. 

Remember, it's the consistent, small actions that compound over time and lead to incredible transformations.

If you have any questions or want to share your success stories, feel free to connect with me on social media or through our website.

Until next time, take care of yourself and go be a badass!