Ep 14. 10 Hacks That Will Boost Your Self-Confidence

Episode Show Notes

Do you ever reflect on all the amazing things you do every day? 

Or do you get stuck in the thoughts of not-enoughness and I could have, should have done this and that instead, and never feel satisfied with your accomplishments?

If you do the latter and forget about all the good stuff, you are not alone and then this episode is for you! 

Because if you let this harsh inner bitch constantly talk you and your achivements down, it will affect both how you feel and how you show up.

To survive in the challenging environment of being a women leader, self-confidence is something that you can’t have enough of. 

That’s why this episode is all about how you can boost your confidence and build mental muscles so the world can get more of you and your talents! 

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Hi ladies, 

Self-confidence is a big and important topic, and it affects us all for obvious reasons. 

If you google How to improve self-confidence you get 747 000 000 hits. 

That’s pretty crazy! 

So like I said, if this is something you would like to do, you are in great company! 

I have been reflecting a lot on this topic and want to share some of the tips and tricks I use both for myself and my VIP clients to boost confidence. 

And like you will see, confidence is so intertwined with other areas so I will make a lot of cross-references to earlier episodes. 

Starting with: 

1. Decide who you want to be 

You might recognize this from the episode 11 on Habits, and there is no coincidence. SO much growth and change starts with defining who you want to be; your identity. And that’s the most powerful place to start in order to find motivation.

Say that you want to be a loving, courageous and powerful leader, think about what a person like that does on a daily basis. 

How do they behave, talk and show up? 

2. Focus on Courage Instead of Confidence.

Often we forget that confidence is situational. There is a first for everything, and when we have mastered a skill, it becomes second nature and we don’t even think about it. 

So if you get nervous or self-concious about a situation, say, doing a presentation for a big crowd, it’s not strange if you have never done that before. So then we could say that your self-confidence is low in this specific area. 

But when it comes to brushing your teeth, I’m pretty sure that your self-confidence is high as a house. You don’t doubt yourself when it comes to managing that twice/day or if you would poke your eye with the toothbrush. 

SO, say that doing this presentation for a big crowd is important to you and your career, you get to focus on courage instead! 

Because that shows that you can do things scared. And everytime you do it, it becomes less scary, and your confidence will grow until that too is second nature to you. 

Here’s a personal anecdote; 

This summer, we decided to redesign two rooms at home with wallpaper. I had never done that before and I kept procrastinating and fiddle around with cleaning up, taking care of the kids and other stuff (that I knew I could do!) and let my fiancé do the actual wallpaper stuff. 

But then I stopped myself and realized that it was my fear of messing up and low self confidence in this specific area that was holding me back from even trying.

The power of self-coaching! Noticing the pattern and deciding to do something about it.

So I said, right, I can do this too. And of course I could! I made some mistakes at first but nothing that couldn’t be fixed, and I got so proud of myself afterwards and it feels amazing to see the results. 

This is a small thing, but it will have rypple effects, so next time we’re up for home renovation, bring it on! Because I’ve mastered this, something similar should be fine too! 

So these are some examples that doing things anyway that are new to you or scary, your grow like a human!

3. Reflect on Your Achievements & Learnings

The third step is reflection. Make it a ritual to write down your achievements. Big or small, they matter. This creates a visible track record of your abilities, reminding you of both the tangible and non-tangible results of your hard work. 

This you can do daily, weekly or monthly. 

I love The Five Minute Journal where you get to write down daily what the highlights were, what you learned that day etc.

4. Surround Yourself with Positivity:

Remember, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with positive, empowering individuals who uplift you. This isn't about creating an echo chamber but building a support network that genuinely believes in you. 

And here I’ve got some good news for those of you living in Stockholm. I’m hosting a Badass Women Leader’s Lunch Club on the 21st of September. 

Here you will get a chance to network with like-minded women leaders and the topic of the lunch will be on Manage Your Energy to Smash Your Day. 

While I’m giving a short keynote, there will be lunch and we will all do an exercise to see what fills and drains your energy today, to increase self awareness and give you tools to boost your energy. 

If you want to come, send me an email or DM on LinkedIn and I will forward the invitation to you. As soon as the invitation is ready, you will find links to it in the show-notes.

5. Say No and Set Boundaries:

One of the most badass things a woman can do is to say no and set boundaries. It signals respect for yourself and tells the world that your time, energy, and mental wellbeing are valuable.

This can be declining meetings without an agenda, or setting an out-of-office and sticking to it during weekends and after hours, or objecting if a colleague talks to you in a disrespectful way. 

Another thing that one of my dear VIP clients did today, was to vote with her feet and leave a toxic work environment that was not good for her mental health. This is sending such a strong signal to yourself that you matter and that you are worth so much better. 

Because staying in a workplace that either stresses you out or make you feel like you suck, is the biggest confidence killer ever. 

It takes guts to do this without having another job to go to yet, but it was so important to be able to take on her next role with confidence and energy. I’m so happy for her and the world is her oyster now to take on. 

If you want to dive deeper into this topic of saying no, listen to episode 10, which is all about this. You can find the link in the show notes. 

6. Celebrate Small Wins:

Every step forward, no matter how tiny, is progress. Celebrate these moments. They accumulate and build not just confidence but also momentum. 

This is something I always start coaching sessions with, to celebrate my client's wins. When we say it out loud it becomes more real too, and it’s so rewarding to get the accomplishments confirmed. 

So see if you can find someone to share your win’s with!

7. Visualize Success:

Before any big meeting, presentation, or challenge, take a moment to visualize a successful outcome. Feel the emotions, see the reactions of those around you, and internalize that success. 

This not only builds confidence but preps your mind and body to achieve the desired outcome. It’s like hacking your mind to believe that it already happened. 

One of my VIP clients had a really important pitch meeting with investors and this is something we did together, and talked about how she wanted to show up. 

And the meeting went really well and her bar for what she can handle definitely went up by a lot after that! 

8. Find & Leverage Your Zone of Genius

This is when you get to work within something that you love doing and that you are great at. This is the best booster because it allows you to use your skills and talents doing something that you are passionate about. Episode 5 is all about that. 

9. Challenge Negative Thoughts & Beliefs:

When that nagging voice of doubt creeps in, challenge it. Ask yourself, "Is this thought based on fact or fear?" More often than not, it's the latter. Replace fear-based thoughts and beliefs with facts. 

If you want to dive deeper into negative thoughts, go back and listen to Episode 1 about Inner bitch and I will go into Beliefs in a later episode, because that’s another big and important topic. 

10. Invest in Your Wellbeing:

Lastly, but most importantly, invest in your mental and physical wellbeing. Whether it's meditation, coaching, exercise, therapy, or a simple walk in nature – when you feel good and take care of yourself, you project confidence.

So this is why I always finish my episodes with, Take care of yourself, and go be a badass. Because when you feel good, you can take on anything.

Confidence is like a muscle, it requires consistent effort to grow. 

Remember, the world might throw its challenges, but with self-belief and resilience, you can jump those hurdles with ease! 

Unleash that badass within, and take on the world with all your awesomeness.

And today we covered a lot of things. Think about what you take away from today, and one thing that you will try before next week.

And share a learning or this episode with someone else, this way you use and integrate what you have learned and spread the love and boost to a sister. 

Until next time, take care of yourself, and go be a badass!